Bad Chips and Dip
It's ok to admit that you don't like all of your co-workers. There always seems to be certain people who are geniuses at irritating you. Would you like to learn a surefire way to get them to leave you alone? Serve them bad dip. Here's how it works:
The Preparation
Start with some basic ingredients used for making a tasty dip: sour
cream, salsa, plain yogurt, guacamole or cream cheese will do. Next, add some not-so-tasty ingredients like pickle juice, suicidal hot sauce, cod liver oil, grape jelly, etc. At this point, most recipes instruct you to season to taste. Well, you sure as heck aren't going to taste this stuff. So, go heavy on the bad ingredients to be sure the dip tastes really, really horrible.
The Placement
Neatly display the bad dip in your work area along with some chips. The chips don't have to be bad, but using stale chips would be a nice touch. Now, you wait for annoying co-workers to approach.
The Payoff
Those little mooches will soon come around looking for the free food. They always do. They'll slither up, sniffing and eyeballing your snacks. They will ask you for some. With a big smile you nod your head. Don't feel guilty. After all, you didn't offer it to your co-workers. They sought you out.
Cherish the precious payoff when they take that huge reckless bite of bad dip.
The Act
As the targeted co-worker begins to chew their first bite, they will recoil from the horrible flavors attacking their taste buds. When they say, "AGH! THAT'S AWFUL," you burst into tears, grab the dip and yell, "That's my grandma's recipe!" Then, run to your car and go home for the day.
The Rewards
- Your obnoxious co-workers will never come around again.
- You get a free half-day off work.(Maybe you should watch some cooking shows.)
- You'll never need to make food for the office again.
- Everyone will be extra nice to you for a while.
Make some bad dip and watch your lame co-workers eat it. It'll make you laugh.
Bad dip making is just one more tool in your corporate survival toolbox.
Sincerely,
Bill Ross
The Office Toy Guy
OfficeToyGuy@OfficePlayground.com
www.OfficePlayground.com
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Image courtesy of Megan Soh.