Stealing Food at Work

The purpose of this blog post is not to endorse stealing your co-worker's lunch. We are simply offering advice on how to be successful at it.

Times are tough and your company is cutting back; it's up to you to create your own perks. Stealing your co-worker's lunch is wrong, but you're not likely going to go to jail if you get caught.

Speed – You can't linger around in the kitchen. Get in and get out. The ideal kitchen or break room has two doors. You should enter through one, snatch a free snack, and exit through the other.

Greed – Don't kill the goose that laid the golden egg. Don't steal food every day or from the same person over and over. We understand that certain people have better food than others, but exercise restraint.

Mix it up – If you work in a large company, spread out your efforts across all kitchens, break rooms, conference rooms, reception desks (free fruit or candy), etc. By spreading out, it'll be hard to identify the totality of your work.

Redirects – Once in a while, bring your own lunch and put it in the refrigerator with your name written on the bag. Your co-workers will think "the lunch thief can't be him, he brings his own." Little do they know you're just that hungry that you'll eat yours AND theirs. If the office is on to you, you can secretly eat half of your sandwich and then make a big scene, "HEY, WHO ATE MY SANDWICH!"

Image courtesy of Stacita.